i am figuring out how to bloom where planted

a lot of me wants to escape

this is where i was raised, settler on stolen lands

this is where i was complicit in and subjected to violence under westernization, capitalism, colonialism, cis-hetero-patriarchy, and white supremacy

this is where i was conditioned to believe that being a biomedical engineer would help people live a life worth living

this is where i was lied to and denied access to my true self

this is where i pursued gender affirming care and receive medical and legal trauma

this is where i have harmed folks and fumbled into accountability

this is where i have been harmed and assaulted by members of my own “community”

this is where i feel lost and isolated and unable to fully receive though surrounded by queer and trans folks

this is where i choose to stay

to put down roots

to receive nourishment from the soil 

to immerse myself in symbiotic relationships with the land and others

to stop striving ‘for’ and begin breathing, existing, struggling, decolonizing, living, imagining ‘with’

i dream of building a pod and a chosen family rooted in transformative, loving, and healing justice

i dream of generative connections exchanging care and creativity and vulnerability

i dream of supporting the development of crisis intervention, safety, and justice practices outside of the state

i dream of using my privileges and experiences to create spaces where others can unleash their authenticity and uplift collective liberation

what dreams keep you where you are planted?

full website and zine on transformative justice here.