i am haven
a promise
a return
a becoming

flesh
amalgam of soil from distant lands
shaped by the reason of diwatas’ hands
primordial water delivered on comets’ tails
formed by pools of drooling saliva from a ten-headed being
the same substance that animates incantus
the ever present
the unseen

in this flesh
lay dormant seeds of kaluluwa
planted by anitos to the rhythm of mother earth’s hips
as she swayed on her axis
blessing each with a kiss
they have been uncovered
germinated by ka-mmunity
the ones who sparkle in shadows
the ones who remember that
to build walls between the village and the woods
is to deny our body
our divinity
the truth that we are all monsters
sites of ritual imperfection

they remind the flesh:
each time Bathala’s lightning strikes
splitting the vessel
rotting unneeded truths
swallowing decay
they transform
to become a better conduit between realms
electric potentials for interstitial travel
kinvokations of kapwa

the flesh is a sapling
bones of oak and balete
veins of rattan
mango nectar swims through them
circulating sweet joy
roots plunge endlessly deeper
back to the soil that shaped them
memory held in cosmic vortices
where all is birthed and returns and is birthed again

the sapling listens
the earth’s pulse guides nutrients skyward
swirling into a linglingo
oceanic embrace
place of creation
branches swim outward
some dropping bodies to the surface below
(they are never alone)
others forming leaves
who inhale the sun
and exhale hininga

the sapling’s trunk dances higher
defying gravitational limitations
limbs weave upon themselves
feeling all
integrating all
laughing at permission
fire burning at their tips

the sapling is glitter and embers
coalescing into hawk’s wings
each flap shifts mountains
in their talons they hold space
boundaried by permeable membrane
to exchange
create
transform
liberate
until they are a story
woven in earth
held in wind’s breath

this piece was a lifetime in the making. influenced by visayan, celtic, and bukidnon symbols and creation mythology, woven with messages from transcestors and connection to the cosmos, and infused with my own purpose and power.

this is my creation myth. one of many. it dissolves the parts of me held as separate and other in the context of todays oppressive society, it wrestles with privilege and reaches into re-memberence, it reminds me that i am whole and that my body is more than just flesh – i am of many lands, i am made of community, i am of the elements, and i belong. i belong to all of this, all of these stories and i am woven with liberatory futures. i am settled into my expansion, my creation, my myth, so i can continuously unsettle, unlearn, and undermine the systems of oppression.

this is who i am. when i enter community spaces. when i feel activated. when i meet my edges and spill over boundaries. this is who i come back to. i allow it to integrate into my flesh and soul, to guide me and expand me always.

this design and poem were derived from deep meditation and reconnection with the earth. in a period of great transition in my life, in a period of finding my purpose, i first needed the work of finding myself. i tattooed this design on myself over two ceremonies (mahcine and handpoke). see a captioned video of my mythopoetic invocation here.